Beach Whispers
Fortunately, our boys love the beach experience as much as we do. And I'm always amazed with the parade of energy a kid on the sand can muster. It's a non-stop carousel of ball-playing, swimming, castle-building, digging, running, sand-crab catching, fishing, rafting, wave-dodging, and the occasional negotiating..."Are you ready to play daddy?"
And play we do!
The adults are often comfortably making use of the beach chairs. Relaxing, and keeping a careful eye on the boys.
But a child can go missing in the blink of an eye...while you covered that one page in your book. On busy beach days when there are hundreds of umbrellas and towels in the sand, it's quite easy to lose sight of your "base," even for an adult!
On these peak season days, all along the coast, thousands of children become temporarily separated from their families, inducing many panicked parents and grandparents.
Much panic which could be avoided...if they knew the secret place to look.
I'm sure you love watching your grandchildren play on the beach or elsewhere.
Why does that never get tiring? (Sure, holding down that beach chair certainly helps!) Perhaps it's re-living the magical wonder of their first-time experiences, a cathartic treat. Maybe it's the recognition & memories of your children in the grandkids. Or perhaps long ago memory bits from your own childhood.
Watching children play surely is fun.
But did you know it also holds the keys to your legacy secrets?
Next time you get the chance to observe your grandchildren at play...really tune yourself in like never before. It'll take a modest amount of effort , but consider it a really fun homework assignment! (Sure beats writing that 5-pager for English class.)
While observing your grandchild, ask yourself some thought-provoking questions:
- What are your grandchild's unique characteristics?
- Are they quick to meet new friends, or get lost in a fantasy world all their own?
- Do they color neatly within the lines...or quick to embellish a coloring book with rapid and random color patches?
- When they fall off that bike, do they run for comfort...or check themselves for injuries, and climb back on?
- Find some grandchild characteristics you really admire. Which ones remind you of yourself, and which ones couldn't be more different?
By slowing down (hitting the pause button) to really take a harder look at your grandchildren...you will unlock doors. Really SEE them.
You will have to make an effort to see NOT through your own "glasses" and value-sets, but simply observe.
What you're doing is gaining valuable understanding of their personalities and learning preferences.
To build a grandchild connection, you may need to adjust your style to theirs.
For instance, let's imagine you're the "color neatly between the lines type." Your grandchild, however, is the "color embellishment type". You'll no doubt be a bit frustrated in trying to connect if you allow this personal value-set to get in the way.
YOU may need to learn to embellish.
Or, find a way to prevent this value difference from getting in the way. The mistake MOST often made, however, can be a real legacy downer. Do your best to avoid applying your preferential values on the grandchild.
Never, ever judge or criticize.
(Now, let me put out the caveat that when it comes to teaching discipline of core values and safety, please...judge away!!)
But you want to avoid the traps of seemingly casual statements like:
Why can't you draw within the lines?
Children, highly impressionable, might simply hear: Something is wrong with you.
And, you certainly didn't mean anything harmful in such a statement...but it's YOU who finds value in staying inside the lines.
Find a way to admire the difference.
Wow. I usually like to color within the lines, but I really like how your drawings stand out!
Identify their core interests. Connect with your own.
And then don't forget the step that makes all the difference in the world...appeal to their personalities, learning styles, and value-sets to make a great connection.
Now about that lost child on the beach.
They could have gone in 100 different directions, but when the lifeguard shows up...they'll immediately look down wind to find the youngster. And very nearly 100% of the time...that's exactly the direction they'll be found.
You see...lots of very influential things in life are surprisingly subtle.
Below our consciousness.
Silent.
Simple.
Legacies fall in the same category...
If something as trivial as a slight breeze on the beach can guide your young grandchild, seemingly against their conscious will...
Imagine the impact of a whisper in their ear...a connection from grandma or pop-pop that could steer them for the rest of their lives.
A kind word here. A little admiration there.
Help them discover their strengths, and value their uniqueness. That, my friend, would certainly be the winds of change...of a legacy in the making.
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